Central Outreach and Advocacy Center

We open doors to overcome and prevent homelessness

Blog

By

It Made a Difference to that One

by April Campbell

A couple of months ago, I went to my mailbox and found a small package. I opened it and inside was “The Starfish Story” (sometimes called The Star Thrower) and a bracelet that read “It made a difference to that one”. For those who may not know, the story is goes:

“One day, an old man was walking along a beach that was littered with thousands of starfish that had been washed ashore by the high tide. As he walked, he came upon a young boy who was eagerly throwing the starfish back into the ocean, one by one.

Puzzled, the man looked at the boy and asked what he was doing. Without looking up from his task, the boy simply replied, ‘I’m saving these starfish, Sir.’

The old man chuckled aloud, ‘Son, there are thousands of starfish and only one of you. What difference can you make?’

The boy picked up a starfish, gently tossed it into the water and turning to the man, said, “It made a difference to that one!’”

The package was sent by my mom who lives over 800 miles away. She knows that the work we do is hard. We work with guests who are marginalized and oppressed and face barriers everywhere they turn. We do our best to meet as many needs as possible, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough. Sometimes I wonder if I really make a difference in the lives of the guest we serve. It can feel like an uphill battle with constant questions: “Did I listen enough?” “Was I patient enough?”, “Did I ask all the right questions to ensure the guest received everything they needed?”, “Could I have done more?” I leave every day with these thoughts, playing back my interactions with guests over and over again, and thinking how I could have said something differently or done something more.

Then there comes a day when I get a card in the mail that says how well a former guest is doing and thanks me for the time I spent with him or a voicemail from a guest who wants to tell me that he finally got his ID and thanks me for going through the process with him. That’s when I realize that as long as our guests and their needs are my number one priority, I am making a difference.

What my mom did not realize was that I had previously shared The Starfish Story  at one of our team meetings because it stuck with me. It was important to me to share it because I know that I am not the only one who leaves work some days and wonders if I really made a difference in a guest’s life. I truly believe that the work we do here is important and changes lives and although we are not a shelter or a long term program, and we may not see the impact our services have on our guests, I trust that our work is planting the seeds for something greater and planting seeds hope and empowerment within our guests.

By

Not Pretending

by Cat Perkins

Patience.

Take a breath.

Listen.

Smile.

“How are you today?” I ask.

My heart pulls in dread and anticipation, hoping and praying that they feel ok.

Our guests are not pretenders. There is no reason to pretend when you live on the street, when your address is almost always at risk of changing.

“I’m okay today.”

“I’m really tired.”

“A little frustrated.”

“I’m hoping you can help me…”

These are a few common responses. There is no reason to pass the question by, when someone finally offers the space for release.

We recently changed our intake process, allowing fewer people in our doors at once, so there is now a bit more space for talking and sharing. When a guest sits down, there is no definitive time limit, no reason to rush them through, so they often begin to share. They tell me of what pains them, what makes their burden heavy, and many are very honest and tell me how they got to the place they’re in. The complicated part of homelessness is, that no matter how much you knew about your own situation when you were stable, many still find themselves outside one day, wondering how they ever got there.

My favorite moments are usually when I am interacting with someone kind and humble who is overjoyed by my ability to assist them and says yes to nearly everything they are offered, from clothing referrals to a toiletry kit. They are so thankful and show their gratitude through sheer excitement.  Of course it’s easy to find a mutual joy when working with these guests, but I’ve also found a joy in the more challenging guests, a joy that surprises me.

Normally, when a guest is getting frustrated or has an attitude, I worry that I won’t be able to help them, that they’ll say something that crosses the line or that they’ll refuse services before we finish working together, but I’ve discovered a gift of patience within me. When they become cross or agitated, I feel a wave of calm come over me and I lower my voice to speak in a soft, calm tone. I feel my words trying to gently work them down, into a place where they can hear me. Most of the time, this works, and usually causes a turning point in our interaction that surprises both me and the guest.  The communication after that is usually amazing, vulnerable, and even more special than with guests who politely come in and out. My goal with each guest is for them to know that someone cares: that someone thinks about them after they leave, someone prays that they are safe and well, or at least on the way to that.

Our guests are not pretenders. I don’t want to pretend to care. I want them to know that I do care.

Patience.

Take a breath.

Listen.

Smile.

“How are you today?” I ask.

 

By

Housing Mr. M

by Ahren Cassinari-Foster

I first met Mr. M in the lobby of the OAC.  I was rushing off to do something else when he flagged me down and asked me about our job readiness program.  I assumed he was another guest wanting an answer to a question that he should be asking at the front desk-but I was very wrong!  He seemed like a nice enough guy when I met him but I had no idea that he would prove himself to be one of the most successful and focused job readiness students I have ever worked with.

When Mr. M first came to us, he was staying in a shelter, working on his addiction recovery, and just beginning to piece his life back together after some trying times.  After a few weeks of job readiness training, Mr. M found a job. Soon thereafter, he found a second job!

Over the next few months, Mr. M occasionally came in to the OAC just to say hi or to receive services.  After one of those visits we found out that we had been given access to a significant amount of money earmarked for housing for Main Frame students through the United Way.  Mr. M and I met and began to talk about the possibility of assisting him with rent.   

Soon enough, Mr. M had found a room to rent, had a contract drawn up, and was able to move in and pay the first month of rent (with a little help from the OAC and the United Way).  Since then, Mr. Murphy has paid the second month of rent by himself and is working with us on budgeting and saving strategies to help set him up for success over the long run.

It has been a pleasure to work with someone so focused on achieving self-sufficiency.  Often when we work with guests, we don’t see the success they achieve after they leave us.  Especially when we help people with supportive services, we don’t know if they are able to get housing and employment with the identification we help them obtain.  It has been really rewarding to see Mr. M progress from someone struggling with addiction and living on the street to someone who has two stable jobs and is able to pay his own rent.  We are incredibly proud of what Mr. M has accomplished and his story gives us hope.

By

How Trauma Leads to Homelessness

by Brenna Lakeson

Many of our guests have endured different types of trauma.  From the questions we ask them during our intake process, we learn a lot about each of our guests’ stories and what brought them into their current situation.  Many have experienced or witnessed domestic violence, especially as children.  Many have experienced violence on the street – robbery, physical assault, and theft.  Others have experienced incarceration, often repeatedly.  These difficult experiences, when compounded, can influence addiction behaviors and existing mental illness.  All of these things combine create a situation that can make it nearly impossible for someone to rise above their circumstances without outside assistance.

Recently, I met with a guest named Ms. C.  Ms. C has been a regular guest over the past few months.  She struggles with mental illness, often conversing with people who aren’t there or experiencing drastic mood swings and anger.  Some days, she seems to be doing better than others, but it was clear that she would need intentional case management to overcome her situation.  On this particular day, Ms. C was interested in getting into a substance abuse treatment program.  The program that we refer to for women requires an extensive referral process and a lengthy form.  As I worked through the questions with Ms. C, I learned more about her life.

She told me about the history of mental illness and addiction in her family and the abuse she had experienced growing up.  She told me about her early use of alcohol and drugs.  She told me about the death of her husband and her son.  She told me about abuse she had experienced on the street, both physical and sexual.  After we had completed the form, it was clear to me that Ms. C had experienced a huge amount of trauma in her life but had never had the luxury of being able to process it.  She didn’t have a therapist or a doctor to help her and there was no way, in her current state, for her to gain employment to earn the money to afford the care she needs.

This catch-22 is the case for many of our guests – they need mental healthcare, addiction resources, and counseling, but do not have the stability to afford this type of care.  So, they continue to compound the trauma they experience, living in a constant state of emergency and anxiety on the street.  There are programs in place to help individuals like Ms. C, but without the awareness to ask for help from the right people, getting to these programs can also be next to impossible.

The good news is, though, that there is healing taking place for people like Ms. C.  She was able to get into the substance abuse treatment program after working with us and currently has a bed there.  In the program, she’ll have access to mental healthcare, counseling, and the structure she so badly needs.  I am grateful that I got to hear a piece of Ms. C’s story and hold space with her in her grief.  I am also grateful that she is getting the help she needs.  I have hope that she will be able to rise about her trauma and find new meaning now that she has a place to process all that she’s experienced.  In the process of filling out the forms for the treatment program, she mentioned that she loves gardening and would like to have an apartment to clean.  She also mentioned that she likes to do crafts and write poems.  I believe Ms. C will be able to do all these things and more as she begins the healing process.