by Kimberly Parker, Executive Director
A couple of months ago, I felt like I was becoming jaded at work. I didn’t find a lot of joy in what I was doing. I was not patient with people. It seemed that every guest who walked through our doors got on my nerves. I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t care. This is a scary place to be!
I didn’t share this with anyone. I don’t even think I shared it with my wife, Ellen, or at least not in much detail. I knew I needed to do something to change because I didn’t feel like a good leader, pastor, or even a kind human being. If I couldn’t change, I wouldn’t need to continue doing this type of work.
I began reflecting on our values at Central OAC. “We believe in meeting people where they are and treating each person with respect and dignity.” I realized I still believed in these values but was not living them out. I decided to try something that didn’t feel like a big deal, but I wanted to see if it would change me and help the jadedness that I felt. I decided to do my best to look into the eyes of every person I encountered at work, not just a fleeting glance, but a sustained, sincere look into their eyes. I began doing this while we stood on the street, making our list for the day. I did it every day. Sometimes, I would have to remind myself to do it if I felt that impatient, critical feeling welling up inside of me again. But I did it. I looked people in the eyes.
In my privileged life, I know very little of what it feels like to be someone experiencing homelessness. But I do know what it’s like to be someone who is afraid, sad, confused, or angry at times. Looking into another person’s eyes helped me to realize that we can relate to one another. Slowly, I began to see people differently. I began to care again. I started listening in a new way as guests shared what was going on in their lives. This deep looking into the eyes has reminded me of God being with us, and I now expect to see Emanuel in the eyes of another person. For that, I am grateful, very grateful!