Central Outreach & Advocacy Center

trauma

By

The Hardships of Trauma

by Chattrelle Gillyard

Often we see homelessness as a choice. There is stigma surrounding homelessness that causes many of us to believe that people experiencing it are lazy. They’ve chosen to be homeless or unemployed or that they’re the reason why they are currently experiencing homelessness. But most people in this situation did not choose it. What’s more, many people experiencing homelessness have endured some sort of trauma in their life. According to SAMSHA, homelessness in itself is considered a traumatic event.

Could you imagine losing your home and your job due to a natural disaster such as a hurricane? Can you imagine aging out of the foster care system with no stable living place to go? Can you imagine growing up poor and never really having a place to call home? Or what about having to run away from home due to abuse or neglect at a young age? Though many are fortunate enough to overcome these particular traumas, others aren’t that fortunate. Mental health conditions, substance use issues, and even paranoia and lack of trust can develop from unresolved trauma. These conditions are also all barriers to employment, affordable housing, and proper health care. Many people experiencing homelessness battle with unresolved trauma every day and are constantly reminded of their situation and looked down upon. It’s easy to see what’s on the outside, and it’s easy to judge and make assumptions. It’s even easier to label people who are different from us. It’s harder to look past someone’s appearance or current station in life to sympathize with where they’ve been or what they’ve been through.

Though many of us have experienced the same or similar traumas as our guests, we still choose to believe the stigma surrounding people experiencing homelessness. We still speed walk past them, frown at a particular smell they carry, ignore them when we see them, and even talk down to them. We put ourselves on a pedestal to make ourselves feel better, all while ignoring the reality that we could be one traumatic event from experiencing homelessness too. I challenge you to follow the tenets and values of Central OAC when it comes to interacting with someone who is experiencing homelessness. Meet them where they are with patience and humility. Treat them with respect, and dignity. Trauma is all around us and affects everyone differently. Don’t be in a rush to judge more than you are to understand.

By

Not Pretending

by Cat Perkins

Patience.

Take a breath.

Listen.

Smile.

“How are you today?” I ask.

My heart pulls in dread and anticipation, hoping and praying that they feel ok.

Our guests are not pretenders. There is no reason to pretend when you live on the street, when your address is almost always at risk of changing.

“I’m okay today.”

“I’m really tired.”

“A little frustrated.”

“I’m hoping you can help me…”

These are a few common responses. There is no reason to pass the question by, when someone finally offers the space for release.

We recently changed our intake process, allowing fewer people in our doors at once, so there is now a bit more space for talking and sharing. When a guest sits down, there is no definitive time limit, no reason to rush them through, so they often begin to share. They tell me of what pains them, what makes their burden heavy, and many are very honest and tell me how they got to the place they’re in. The complicated part of homelessness is, that no matter how much you knew about your own situation when you were stable, many still find themselves outside one day, wondering how they ever got there.

My favorite moments are usually when I am interacting with someone kind and humble who is overjoyed by my ability to assist them and says yes to nearly everything they are offered, from clothing referrals to a toiletry kit. They are so thankful and show their gratitude through sheer excitement.  Of course it’s easy to find a mutual joy when working with these guests, but I’ve also found a joy in the more challenging guests, a joy that surprises me.

Normally, when a guest is getting frustrated or has an attitude, I worry that I won’t be able to help them, that they’ll say something that crosses the line or that they’ll refuse services before we finish working together, but I’ve discovered a gift of patience within me. When they become cross or agitated, I feel a wave of calm come over me and I lower my voice to speak in a soft, calm tone. I feel my words trying to gently work them down, into a place where they can hear me. Most of the time, this works, and usually causes a turning point in our interaction that surprises both me and the guest.  The communication after that is usually amazing, vulnerable, and even more special than with guests who politely come in and out. My goal with each guest is for them to know that someone cares: that someone thinks about them after they leave, someone prays that they are safe and well, or at least on the way to that.

Our guests are not pretenders. I don’t want to pretend to care. I want them to know that I do care.

Patience.

Take a breath.

Listen.

Smile.

“How are you today?” I ask.